7 techniques to observe ‘Red Flags‘ – dangerous warning signs from a date that may lead to a toxic relationship
by Bangkok Matching
Today, Bangkok Matching, Thailand’s high-end matchmaking and dating company, will discuss techniques for observing “red flags” and yellow flags in your dates or people you are currently conversing with. These observations can help you identify whether someone has the potential to become a toxic person in your life. Pay attention to their behaviors, both the red flags and yellow flags, as a guide for observation. If you notice signs of a toxic relationship emerging or already present, it’s best to end the relationship before things go too far.
Everyone wishes to find a partner to be happy with and grow together for a long time. However, not everyone is fortunate enough to have that peace of mind. For all the singles out there, below are some tips from Bangkok Matching, a high-end matchmaking and dating company on how to choose a date wisely and avoid toxic relationships.
First of all, Bangkok Matching would like to explain first what Red Flag relationship is. What does it mean?
What is a “red flag relationship“?
Looking for Red Flags in a potential partner before deciding to date them seems to be an important topic that we often hear a lot about nowadays. Moreover, it has become one of the significant debates in raising awareness on social media platforms to prevent falling into dangerous relationship situations. The term “Red Flag” refers to the “dangerous signs” within a potential partner or romantic relationship, and it can take various different forms. We need to pay attention to these signs in order to avoid getting into toxic relationships that can cause a multitude of negative consequences, both mentally and physically, and may even have significant impacts on our well-being and assets.
Why You Need to Recognize the Red Flag in Relationships?
Because violent behaviors can be avoided if we are aware of the signs and stop the cycle of violence within families. According to a survey on domestic violence in Thailand in the year 2021 conducted by the Department of Women’s Affairs and Family Institution, it was found that 81% of the victims of physical violence within families were female. Moreover, 88% of these violent incidents occurred at their own homes.
In response to research on women’s experiences with domestic violence conducted by the Klao Klai (meaning Women Step Forward) Foundation, the study examined a sample group of 5 Thai women who were in relationships with partners exhibiting dangerous behavior. The study revealed the negative consequences of being in a relationship with a partner engaged in risky behavior, affecting both mental and physical well-being. Among the husbands of the women in the study, 2 out of 5 individuals exhibited violent behavior due to nervousness caused by alcohol and substance abuse, while another individual experienced mood swings due to genetic factors.
The violent behaviors they encountered included:
1.Physical harm, both direct physical violence and self-harm.
2.Emotional abuse, including gaslighting to make her doubt her own worthiness of such violence, and being cheated on and threatened to accept these behaviors.
According to the survey conducted by Bangkok Matching, Thai matchmaking and dating company, asking Thai men and women how long they think it takes to determine if the other person is the right one. The results from both sides were consistent, with the majority, about 80% of respondents, agreeing that it takes approximately 1 year at most to make such a decision.
From the case studies conducted by the Klao Klai Foundation, each couple that encountered problems of violence in a toxic relationship took a period of 2 to 6 months before deciding to stay together, with the longest duration being 5 years. This indicates that the time spent studying and understanding each other did not necessarily lead to changes in the “Red Flag” behaviors. On the contrary, these behaviors tended to increase when one party gained power over the other, whether it be physically or emotionally.
Therefore, to ensure that your date is not part of the group with “Red Flag” behaviors, you must create self-awareness before starting dating. Follow the good observation and techniques that we have provided, such as:
7 Observation Points on Dates with Red Flag Characteristics
- Lak of trust and extreme possessiveness
Lack of trust, belief, or displaying unwarranted jealousy that shows entitlement to control someone’s body and mind is considered one of the fundamental behaviors that indicate red flags in a relationship.
Therefore, if your date or partner exhibits behaviors that show extreme lack of trust in you without any valid reason, such as not believing or trusting you when you go out with friends, trying to force you to take pictures to confirm your whereabouts, or needing constant validation from others to believe you, it is clear that your date is displaying Red Flag behaviors in the relationship.
- Controlling Behavior
Another common red flag behavior in relationships is a tendency to be controlling and manipulative, attempting to make the other person live within the boundaries they set or according to their own desires. For example, they may try to isolate you from your friends or social circles, providing various reasons such as being concerned or not wanting you to be with others. They may express intense dissatisfaction if you disobey their commands. Take note of how your close friends or people in your social circle have distanced themselves from you after you started dating this person. If you find that there’s no one you can talk to about your emotional distress, it might be time to reflect on the presence of red flags in your relationship.
- criticism, judgment, and belittlement
Being in a romantic or life partnership means supporting and advising each other towards positive and beneficial aspects of life. However, if your partner starts to criticize and judge every action or decision you make, or if they constantly mock and belittle you, it becomes unacceptable. When their behavior reaches the point of insulting and demeaning you, both publicly and privately, it can severely damage your self-confidence and self-esteem. This is another red flag that you need to recognize quickly in your relationship.
- Withholding Emotions and Avoiding Communication
Even though the behavior of not speaking up and suppressing emotions may not seem severe in a relationship, it is actually like a ticking time bomb ready to destroy the good bond at any moment. You won’t be able to know what your partner is thinking and feeling, leading to pressure and stress, and it can even escalate to severe depression. This is another dangerous red flag that you need to be cautious of.
- Having Emotionally or Physically Violating Behavior
Violating behavior should never happen, even in a dating or romantic relationship. Touching, physical contact, or expressing opinions related to emotional states should be done with willing and heartfelt consent. If your partner exhibits violating behavior without caring about your consent or permission, this is another dangerous red flag that you should be cautious of.
Especially with the rising trend of deceiving someone into accepting non-consensual touch or actions, it is essential to remember that our bodies belong to us. We must always receive consent and permission before engaging in any physical interactions.
- Having Boundary-Disrespecting Behavior
Everyone has personal boundaries and limits that allow others to get to know them or discuss certain topics within those limits. If your partner makes you feel uncomfortable by crossing these boundaries, such as asking or talking about your past relationships, discussing events you don’t want to talk about, or anything else that causes you distress without feeling sorry or apologizing, this is another dangerous behavior pattern.
- Lack of Support and Encouragement
As mentioned earlier, a good relationship requires both parties to support and encourage each other in positive ways. If your past partner consistently showed a lack of effort in supporting or providing emotional encouragement, making you feel neglected in the relationship, it’s another red flag that you should take yourself out of this potentially dangerous relationship.
To be aware of red flags while dating, follow these tips
Even though we may be aware of the signs of dangerous individuals in relationships or red flags, in reality, when we find ourselves in such situations, many people tend to view the circumstances from their own perspective and may not see the situation clearly. This is because being manipulated or emotionally abused can distort one’s perception of being a victim, leading to a distorted view of the situation from an outsider’s perspective.
From the statistics of the case studies conducted by the ” Klao Klai Foundation,” it was found that female victims in toxic relationships tend to believe that the harm they experience from their partners is either fate or something beyond their control. This belief leads them to accept their fate and remain trapped in the cycle of the relationship.
We also have some good techniques for dating or selecting partners to share with all readers here. In reality, we can proactively set the course of our lives by being aware and attentive to the warning signs.
Here are 5 key observations that can help you date mindfully and be aware of potential red flags in your partner:
- Observing contradictions in your date: During a date, there is often a lot of conversation where your date talks about different things. Take note of what your date says or explains about themselves or their attitudes towards certain issues during the first meeting. After spending some time together, try asking questions related to those topics again to see if their answers contradict what they said earlier. Additionally, pay attention to behaviors that contradict their words. For example, if your date says, “I don’t support violence in the family, but in this case, women deserve to be beaten,” be aware that this person is likely to be a red flag in a relationship.
Moreover, there is a surprising survey conducted by the matchmaking company, Bangkok Matching, which revealed that during the first date, men tend to lie about their lifestyle to impress women, accounting for up to 54%. Therefore, it is crucial for you to pay close attention to any contradictions in your date’s behavior.
- Observing how they treat others: Pay attention to how your date interacts with servers, strangers, or even their friends, as it can reveal a lot about their character. If they consistently show disrespect or rudeness, it may be a warning sign.
- Observing possessive behavior: While showing interest and affection in a relationship is normal, pay attention and take note if your date has displayed excessively possessive behavior during each date. For example, if they insist on separating you from others, even close friends, or if they use hurtful words due to feelings of jealousy, it might be a red flag. These tendencies often indicate a controlling and distrustful nature, which can be clear warning signs.
4. Observing your date’s speaking patterns: During the time of getting to know each other, pay attention to the way your date frequently communicates. Evaluate both the language style and sentence structures to determine how much gaslighting they may use. For example, if they frequently use sentences like, “I behave this way because you were like this first,” consider it a red flag and be cautious of the way they speak.
5. Be aware of yourself when with your date: Your intuition is the most powerful tool for self-awareness. Although the early stages of dating may bring positive feelings, if you have any uncomfortable emotions related to your date, do not overlook them. Take the time to examine those feelings thoroughly and consider if they might be signaling red flags from your date.
Because choosing a partner is like choosing a long-term future for yourself, paying attention to small behaviors and gestures, as well as reactions your date has towards different situations, is crucial. This includes observing their behaviors related to substance abuse, such as drug or alcohol use. Planning ahead from the beginning will contribute to a happy and strong relationship with your loved ones in the future, and it will help break the cycle of violence within families and society.
What are Yellow Flag and Green Flag dating?
Yellow Flag
“Yellow Flag” is considered some behaviors that signal potential danger, but they are still at a relatively early stage and not as severe as “Red Flag.” If you notice these behaviors, you can address the issue directly with your date because there is still a chance to change the behavior and turn it into a “Green Flag.”
Green Flag
“Green Flag” refers to behaviors of your date that are in the “safe zone,” meaning they do not display any dangerous signals. They treat you with respect, understanding, and value your worth. It provides a safe and positive space for you. Therefore, it is advisable to choose a date who shows Green Flag behaviors rather than someone with risky behaviors to avoid potential issues in the future.
But if observing various behaviors of your date is something you don’t want to encounter, and you don’t want to waste time with a highly dangerous Red Flag date, we recommend our selected and attentive matchmaking and dating service that can help you meet quality dates and safe from risky behaviors. Bangkok Matching, a matchmaking company, conducts checks and screens work and work history, financial status, and profiles of your potential date. This includes lifestyle and preferences. Bangkok Matching is ready to find you a date and a life partner in a safe environment.”
Ready now?, don’t wait any longer! Add the official LINE account of Bangkok Matching @bangkokmatching now. You can inquire about our dating service fees and specifications you are looking for to have the professional team of matchmakers work for you.
Reference:
- https://socadmin.tu.ac.th/uploads/socadmin/file_research/research_Split/23.pdf
- https://opendata.nesdc.go.th/dataset/200b4d4c-a780-42f0-9a50-623d010f78c7/resource/dd238f09-b671-4178-b129-8a605206004c/download/-2564.jpg
- https://www.verywellmind.com/yellow-flags-in-a-relationship-how-to-deal-with-them-7497346
We use ChatGPT to translate to Chinese; there might be some errors.
以下是由曼谷配对（一家媒人服务公司）提供的7种观察“红旗”的技巧——这些是约会中可能导致有毒关系的危险警示信号。
以下是7种观察“红旗”的技巧——这些是约会中可能导致有毒关系的危险警示信号。
今天，高端媒人服务公司曼谷配对将讨论观察约会对象或目前交往中的人的“红旗”和“黄旗”技巧。这些观察可以帮助您辨别某人是否有潜力成为您生活中的有毒人物。请注意他们的行为，无论是“红旗”还是“黄旗”，作为观察的指南。如果您注意到有毒关系的迹象正在出现或已经存在，最好在事情走得太远之前结束这段关系。
今天，高端媒人服务公司曼谷配对将探讨观察潜在约会对象或任何您希望与之建立健康关系的人的技巧。每个人都希望找到一个伴侣，与其共同快乐成长，并拥有长久的幸福。然而，并不是每个人都有如此幸运的心境。对于所有单身的朋友们，以下是曼谷配对提供的一些建议，教您如何明智选择约会对象，避免有毒关系。
首先，曼谷配对媒人服务公司希望先解释一下什么是“红旗关系”。这是什么意思呢？
什麼是危險信號關係？
在决定与潜在伴侣约会之前寻找红旗似乎是一个现在经常听到的重要话题。此外，这也成为社交媒体平台上引起关注的重要辩论，旨在防止陷入危险的恋爱关系。术语“红旗”指的是潜在伴侣或恋爱关系中的“危险迹象”，其表现形式各异。我们需要留意这些迹象，以避免陷入可能导致多种负面后果的有毒关系，无论是在心理上还是身体上，甚至可能对我们的幸福和资产产生重大影响。
為什麼要認識到人際關係中的危險信號？
因为我们意识到这些迹象并阻止家庭暴力循环，所以暴力行为可以避免。根据泰国妇女事务和家庭机构在2021年进行的一项关于家庭暴力的调查，发现81%的家庭暴力受害者是女性。此外，88%的暴力事件发生在受害者自己的家中。
针对妇女在家庭暴力方面的经历，由“女性前进基金会”进行的研究调查了5名泰国女性的样本群体，她们与表现出危险行为的伴侣保持着关系。该研究揭示了与从事危险行为的伴侣保持关系对心理和身体健康产生的负面后果。在参与研究的女性的丈夫中，有2名个体因饮酒和滥用药物引起的紧张情绪而表现出暴力行为，而另一名个体则因遗传因素而出现情绪波动。
他們遇到的暴力行為包括：
1.身体伤害，包括直接的身体暴力和自我伤害。
2.情感虐待，包括煽动其怀疑自己是否配受此种暴力，以及被欺骗和威胁接受这些行为。
根据高端媒人服务公司曼谷配对进行的调查，他们询问了泰国男性和女性，他们认为需要多长时间来确定对方是否是合适的伴侣。双方的结果是一致的，大约80%的受访者认为最多需要大约1年时间做出这样的决定。
根据“广泛妇女与男性基金会”进行的案例研究，每对在有毒关系中遇到暴力问题的夫妇在决定是否继续在一起时，花费了2到6个月的时间，其中最长的持续时间为5年。这表明，相互学习和理解并不一定导致“红旗”行为的改变。相反，当一方在身体或情感上获得权力时，这些行为往往会增加。
因此，在开始约会之前，为了确保您的约会对象不是“红旗”行为的一部分，您必须先建立自我意识。遵循我们提供的良好观察和技巧，例如：
關於具有危險信號特徵的日期的 7 個注意事項
- 缺乏信任和极度的占有欲
缺乏信任、信仰或表现出无理嫉妒的行为，显示出对控制他人身心的权利，被视为在关系中显示红旗的基本行为。
因此，如果您的约会对象或伴侣表现出对您极度缺乏信任，并且没有任何合理的理由，例如不相信或不信任您与朋友外出时的情况，试图强迫您拍照以确认您的去向，或需要持续他人的验证才能相信您，那么很明显您的约会对象在关系中显示出红旗行为。
- 控制行为
在关系中，另一个常见的红旗行为是倾向于控制和操纵，试图让对方按照他们设定的边界或他们自己的愿望生活。例如，他们可能试图将您与朋友或社交圈隔离开来，提供各种理由，比如关心您或不希望您与其他人在一起。如果您不听从他们的命令，他们可能表现出极度的不满。请注意，在您开始与这个人约会后，您的亲密朋友或社交圈的人是否与您疏远。如果您发现没有人可以倾诉您的情感困扰，那么也许是时候反思您的关系中是否存在红旗行为了。
- 在浪漫或生活伴侣关系中，意味着相互支持和给予建议，以促进生活中积极和有益的方面。然而，如果您的伴侣开始批评和评判您所做的每一个行动或决定，或者他们不断嘲笑和贬低您，那将是不可接受的。当他们的行为达到公开和私下侮辱和贬低您的程度时，它可能严重损害您的自信和自尊。这是您需要迅速在关系中认识到的另一个红旗。
4.抑制情感和回避沟通
虽然在关系中保持沉默和抑制情感的行为可能看起来并不严重，但实际上它就像是一颗随时准备破坏良好纽带的定时炸弹。您将无法知道伴侣在想什么和感受什么，从而导致压力和紧张，甚至可能升级为严重的抑郁症。这是另一个您需要谨慎对待的危险红旗。
5.拥有情感或身体上的侵犯行为
侵犯行为在约会或浪漫关系中绝对不应该发生。触碰、身体接触或表达与情感状态相关的观点应该得到自愿和真心的同意。如果您的伴侣表现出侵犯行为，并且不关心您的同意或许可，那么这是另一个您需要谨慎对待的危险红旗。
尤其是随着欺骗某人接受非自愿的触碰或行为的趋势上升，我们必须牢记我们的身体属于我们自己。在进行任何身体交互之前，我们必须始终获得同意和许可。
6.具有不尊重边界的行为
每个人都有个人边界和限制，允许他人在这些限制内了解他们或讨论特定主题。如果您的伴侣通过跨越这些边界使您感到不舒服，比如询问或谈论您的过去关系，讨论您不想谈论的事件，或任何其他导致您感到痛苦而不感到遗憾或道歉的事情，这是另一种危险的行为模式。
7.缺乏支持和鼓励
如前所述，良好的关系需要双方以积极的方式互相支持和鼓励。如果您的过去伴侣持续表现出缺乏在支持或提供情感鼓励方面的努力，让您在关系中感到被忽视，那么这是另一个您应该让自己远离这种潜在危险关系的红旗。
缺乏支持和鼓励
要在約會時注意危險信號，請遵循以下提示
即使我们可能意识到关系中危险个体的迹象或红旗，但在现实中，当我们发现自己处于这种情况时，许多人往往倾向于从自己的角度看待情况，可能无法清晰地看到情况。这是因为被操纵或情感虐待可能会扭曲一个人对自己作为受害者的认知，导致从外人的角度看待情况时产生扭曲的观点。
根据“远行男女基金会”进行的案例研究统计数据发现，在有毒关系中的女性受害者往往倾向于相信她们从伴侣那里经历的伤害是命运或超出她们控制范围的事情。这种信念导致她们接受自己的命运，并陷入关系的循环中无法自拔。
我们还有一些关于约会或选择伴侣的好技巧要与所有读者分享。在现实生活中，通过意识到和关注警告信号，我们可以主动地掌握自己生活的方向。
當然，這裡有 5 個關鍵的觀察結果，可以幫助您謹慎約會並了解伴侶的潛在危險信號：
- 观察约会对象的矛盾之处：在约会中，通常会有许多交谈，你的约会对象会谈论不同的事情。注意在第一次见面时，你的约会对象对自己或对某些问题的态度所说或解释的内容。在一起度过一些时间后，试着再次问相关的问题，看看他们的回答是否与之前说的相矛盾。此外，注意行为是否与言辞相矛盾。例如，如果你的约会对象说：“我不支持家庭暴力，但在这种情况下，女性应该被打”，请注意这个人很可能在感情关系中是个红旗。
此外，高端婚介公司——曼谷匹配（Bangkok Matching）进行的一项令人惊讶的调查显示，在第一次约会中，男性往往会对自己的生活方式进行虚假陈述以给女性留下好印象，占比高达54%。因此，对于约会对象行为的任何矛盾之处，你需要格外注意。
2.观察他们对待他人的方式：留意你的约会对象与服务员、陌生人，甚至是他们的朋友之间的互动，这可以揭示出他们的性格。如果他们经常表现出不尊重或粗鲁的行为，这可能是一个警告信号。
3.观察占有欲行为：在一段关系中表现出兴趣和情感是正常的，但是如果在每次约会中你的约会对象显示出过度的占有欲行为，你应该留意并记下来。例如，如果他们坚持把你与其他人隔离开来，甚至是与亲密朋友，或者因嫉妒而使用伤人的言语，这可能是一个红色警告信号。这些倾向通常表明一种控制和不信任的本质，可能是明确的警示信号。
4.观察约会对象的说话模式：在相互了解的过程中，注意约会对象经常的交流方式。评估语言风格和句子结构，以确定他们可能使用的煽动行为。例如，如果他们经常使用类似“我这样做是因为你先这样”的句子，将其视为红色警告信号，并对他们的说话方式保持警惕。
5.与约会对象在一起时要注意自己的感受：直觉是最强大的自我意识工具。尽管初期的约会可能会带来积极的感受，但如果你在约会中有任何不舒服的情绪，请不要忽视它们。花些时间仔细审视这些感受，并考虑它们是否可能是你约会对象发出的红色警告信号。
因为选择伴侣就像选择自己的长期未来一样，注意观察约会对象的小行为、姿态以及对不同情况的反应是至关重要的。这包括观察他们与药物或酒精滥用有关的行为。从一开始就做好规划将有助于未来与所爱的人建立幸福而稳固的关系，同时也有助于打破家庭和社会中的暴力循环。
什麼是黃旗和綠旗約會？
“黄旗”被认为是一些行为，表明潜在的危险，但它们仍处于相对早期的阶段，并不像“红旗”那样严重。如果你注意到这些行为，你可以直接与你的约会对象沟通，因为还有机会改变这种行为，使其成为“绿旗”。
“绿旗”指的是你的约会对象表现出的行为处于“安全区”，意味着他们不显示任何危险信号。他们尊重你、理解你，并重视你的价值。这为你提供了一个安全和积极的空间。因此，建议选择表现出“绿旗”行为的约会对象，而不是有风险行为的人，以避免未来潜在的问题。
但是，如果观察你的约会对象的各种行为是你不想错过的事情，并且你不想浪费时间与高度危险的“红旗”约会对象在一起，我们推荐一项很棒的服务，可以帮助你遇见高端级别的约会对象，远离风险行为。曼谷婚配（Bangkok Matching）是一家婚配公司，他们会检查和筛选你潜在约会对象的工作历史、财务状况以及个人资料，包括生活方式和喜好。曼谷婚配准备在安全的环境中为你找到一位约会对象和人生伴侣。
现在就准备好吧，不要再等待了！立即添加曼谷婚配（Bangkok Matching）的官方LINE账号 @bangkokmatching。您可以查询有关服务费用和所需规格，以让专业的婚配团队为您工作。
